A little lacking in holiday spirits.

I vividly remember my childhood Christmases.  On Christmas Eve my parents would take me and my siblings to the water park and let us run ourselves absolutely ragged as we swam, splashed and rode the hydroslides.  Then we'd pick up some sort of takeaways on the way home and eat picnic-style on the living room floor.  Then with our bellies full and our bodies exhausted, we'd crash out around 8pm to dream of what Santa would bring.

We'd be up at the crack of dawn, the stockings that had been empty when we laid them over the foot of our beds now magically full of presents, more under the tree.  The snacks we left for Santa had been consumed and so we'd haul our stockings into our parent's room and bounce on their bed.  They would watch with sleepy indulgence as we ripped into the presents, exclaiming in delight at the wonders contained within that wrapping.  And once the stockings were emptied, we were dismissed back out to the living room to play with our new treasures while mum and dad grabbed a couple more hours sleep.

Breakfast, then the big presents under the tree were opened and we'd have a few hours to play before getting dressed and heading to my grandmother's house where all of my dad's side of the family would gather.  More presents then us children would be banished outside to play while the adults finished getting lunch ready and chatted.  It was always a huge feast and we'd all go home in desperate need of a nap from how much we'd eaten.

It was noisy, boisterous, fun and above all, magical.

I'm 30 now.  Over time the magic has rubbed off, leaving Christmas a little dull and flat.  It didn't use to be this way.  I used to start getting excited in December, used to love hearing the carols, loved wrapping the gifts and seeing the look on people's faces when they unwrapped a gift I picked for them and it turned out to be absolutely perfect.  But over the last couple of years, it just feels like, I'm not really getting the return on investment.  My daughter isn't quite at the age where it's all sparkly and magical so right now it just feels like a hell of a lot of work for very little.  Especially when there's traveling involved.  I don't seem to travel as well as I did when I was younger.  Now even a short 3 hour drive leaves me utterly exhausted and that's on top of looking after a very energetic toddler.

Plus it doesn't help that the one thing guaranteed to make you feel old, fat and frumpy is being around your young, willow-thin, drop-dead-gorgeous step-sister-in-law.

It's Christmas Eve.  I'm hoping that watching my daughter rip into some presents will give some small amount of satisfaction.

Holiday blues suck.

Hope everyone else have a merry Christmas.